Feeling good...and...not so good...

        Ok, so in my last blog, which has gotten a ton of views. (Thank you ALL you beautiful people...you...probably because of the post title I'm guessing, but thanks still!) I have just finished my first children's book. And lemme just say, that I FEEL GOOD!!!!! One finished project and counting people!!! Currently, I have begun my next children's book, well, I'd finished writing it and now I am typing it up and adding more than subtracting, I guess...good bad, I dunno, leaving that to some trusty editors of mine to decide. I must admit though, that I am stalling for time before I delve into my book of  ideas and I currently have one floating abut my head that I would beat myself to a pup if I lose it, with a opening line and everything for the first chapter. Being a first time author is a lot harder harder than I thought it would be. A lot. And maybe its not so much of nervousness than it is laziness because of all the planning, and creating, and drafting....Ya' know? Still nervous though, but a lil' lazy.

       I guess I'm just hoping that this while thing is original enough to capture the audience of readers who have, well, read it all. Because I'm going up against people you have been in the business way longer than me, studied creative writing, and actually have something of the sort to sho for it. And the norm is that your debut novel, can make or break you. So can reviews and those tiny gold stars on Amazon. Kids, tweens, teens, young adults and adults? They are all tough audiences. The whole lot of them. And while honesty is the best policy when you are faced by reviews it cn also be the policy that can break you like a twig. So is it a wonder that I want to pee myself everytime I try to come up for a title, or put pen to paper, or fingers to keyboard, or compare my books to others? Nuh-uh! Heck, I was even nervous about starting a blog even! Still not sure abou the whole thing!
      
      
      

YES, YES, A THOUSAND TIMES YES!!!!!!!

       Don't know what else to say except...I JUST FINISHED MY FIRST CHILDREN'S BOOK!!!!!! EXCITEMENT!!!!!!! Just waiting for my manager and editor to go through it and all systems go ladies and gents. But I still can't seem to write my novel. I mean, I can't help but worry about how it is going to be received, especially by my Mom, unless.....ooooooohhhhhhh, plots do have a tendency to change right...? Hmmmmm......Idea!!!! Wish me luck! Huston, I think I may have solved the problem. But it doesn't stop me from thinking about the people, cause after all, its what the people want, yo!
  
       But wait, how slow am I?! I have direct contact with a novelist. HEEEEEYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!! As a matter of fact a novelist and a children's author. Oh yeah!!!! Liking my odds. How do ya' like me universe!!!!?????

   Ok universe, maybe I WILL start baby steps and from my officially completed children's book, I will start small and move on to a early begginers chapter novel or someting along those lines. Ya never know really. Maybe from there I can pick up. Thank God for signs and Disney Channel. Lol ;P

Realizing a problem here...

       Ok,so I've just realized a problem here, I think. My children's book is not COMPLETE!!!!! I still have a series of stuff and subtract (no its not a Math book. Math sucks!!!!! XP). So, what I have officially decided to do is complete it. Just grind my teeth, screw up my grill and write this stuff. I mean, I have never finished a project and if its not finished then I don't wanna push to have it published and or finish another project I've started, so maybe when I finish that book, brace the gnashing teeth and waggling tongues of my tiny munchkins and older, wiser critics and my editor again, I am going to push my manger into getting me into the sweet deal of being a published author.

       Its a New Year, and since its not over I think I can at least afford to make one New Years' resolution, for the most, which is to finish a book. And maybe from there, a book of poems and take the giant leap of writing and completing a novel. Starting to sound like a real bigger fantasy dreamer right about now, but I like to feel a bit of optimism when I finally feel like I'm reaching a goal, no matter how small and insignificant it is to others, its a big deal to me and that's all that matters. I intend to make deal out of everything I've completed and never done before. Hey, will ya' look at that, another New Years' resolution! Yay me! *jumps up and down clapping* These kinds of things spark confidence (not the whole jumping up and down thing, it looks cute, but that depends if you're cute too, although it could help...*contemplating*). And confidence is something needed when you intend to take your baby/babies and send them out into the big world of readers to be judged and criticised, all the while sitting at home wondering if to bring a next one into the world, unsure of how this one will be perceived, eve though you love it already and want it to grow and blossom into something beautiful...*sigh*

       So wish me luck in finishing what I hope to be an epic, slam dunking book as a debut writer. Then, while that is going through a process I will be working on bring out a debut novel of work of poems, whichever strikes me as most importante and likely to be received with open arms by the community of the average, (and not so average) book lover/nerd.

P.S. The reason why this is short is because I' doing this on an empty stomach. Not good dude, not...good.
        

Eeeeekkkkk!!!!! My first blog, and look what it's about...

       This is not my first book but it is my first novel and I just a wreck. I mean, so many thoughts are just running through my mind. And not all good I must admit. What if its no good? What if I become discouraged so badly by my critics that I just give up and pack it away with the other unfinished novels? What if I write to much? What if I write to little? And on and on and on runs the little worried hamster in its purple wheel inside my head at top speed. I just feel like, I don't know, giving up and just throwing away the pencil and paper. According to my editor my children's book has potential, so I guess I aced that department, just waiting on my manager/financial/most negative critic provider to help me get it out.

       Honestly, I'm in a nervous state of affairs and I am dying on the inside, I have prayed and prayed to write and novel and I am so close to starting now because I have the basic guidelines now, but there aren't really much guidelines, (from what I can see anyway), that tells me how to lay out each chapter and how many words are to short or too long. I live and breathe examples and I can't seem to find the help that I need basically. Writing school is an option but its school. Of course I want to follow my dreams but its still school. All I've done thus far is outline my characters (I have one and a half to go) and the plot and what not, its just a matter Chapter One. Uggggghhhhhhh. And I've also banned myself from reading books for the while (don't have much to begin with) :( to not feel discouraged by the awesome stories and beautiful writing of those before and after and with me.

       The ideas for this novel is original in a way, and does not have an actual genre I'm guessing. It falls along the category of Amy Mah Vampire and Nicholas Reardon's Love of Chocolate (two books that are not in my country unfortunately, so I can't read them) :(, so I am assuming. I am basically taking my love for manga and writing and combine to produce, what I hope, will be a very good, interesting readable novel. This is going to be a rather long journey from what I've heard of other authors, and I want to be one of those authors who shares my story and advice. I'm going in this with shaky knees, sweaty palms and a weak stomach. Wonder how in God's name that's gonna turn out.