This is not my first book but it is my first novel and I just a wreck. I mean, so many thoughts are just running through my mind. And not all good I must admit. What if its no good? What if I become discouraged so badly by my critics that I just give up and pack it away with the other unfinished novels? What if I write to much? What if I write to little? And on and on and on runs the little worried hamster in its purple wheel inside my head at top speed. I just feel like, I don't know, giving up and just throwing away the pencil and paper. According to my editor my children's book has potential, so I guess I aced that department, just waiting on my manager/financial/most negative critic provider to help me get it out.
Honestly, I'm in a nervous state of affairs and I am dying on the inside, I have prayed and prayed to write and novel and I am so close to starting now because I have the basic guidelines now, but there aren't really much guidelines, (from what I can see anyway), that tells me how to lay out each chapter and how many words are to short or too long. I live and breathe examples and I can't seem to find the help that I need basically. Writing school is an option but its school. Of course I want to follow my dreams but its still school. All I've done thus far is outline my characters (I have one and a half to go) and the plot and what not, its just a matter Chapter One. Uggggghhhhhhh. And I've also banned myself from reading books for the while (don't have much to begin with) :( to not feel discouraged by the awesome stories and beautiful writing of those before and after and with me.
The ideas for this novel is original in a way, and does not have an actual genre I'm guessing. It falls along the category of Amy Mah Vampire and Nicholas Reardon's Love of Chocolate (two books that are not in my country unfortunately, so I can't read them) :(, so I am assuming. I am basically taking my love for manga and writing and combine to produce, what I hope, will be a very good, interesting readable novel. This is going to be a rather long journey from what I've heard of other authors, and I want to be one of those authors who shares my story and advice. I'm going in this with shaky knees, sweaty palms and a weak stomach. Wonder how in God's name that's gonna turn out.
No comments:
Post a Comment